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Master Cleanse Year 3

Master Cleanse Year 3

 New Year, New Cleanse

Here we are again! Happy 2017!

I did my first master cleanse in January of 2015.  It was a great experience in the end, though not without challenges.  (read my journal for all ten days here)  The exercise in discipline, increased focus, and weight loss kickstart were enough for me to vow to do this every New Year…  and here we are.

Last year, I was happy to jump in to the cleanse because I was working from home editing a movie.  I was wholly focused on one project 14 hours a day, and eliminating the question of food every day was great.  One less thing to worry about.

This year, I’m also working from home, but my projects are my own, and with only loose, self-imposed deadlines.  Read : this might be more challenging.  Or not.

We’ll just have to see!

 

2016 Wrap Up

 

Pole Fitness at Bespun in Hollywood Pole Fitness at Bespun in Hollywood

2016 turned out to be a year of maintenance, instead of gains.  I even remember starting out the year excited to use the master cleanse to help me maintain  through a period of work that would usually have lead to weight gain.  And that attitude of “just doing enough to get by”  sort of continued all year.  Work was stressful this year.  My weight fluctuated a bit, and I had months of intense work distraction followed by rounds of fit challenges for myself.

Then, the holidays hit.  And, by that I mean the full last three months of the year.  This was a strange time, health-wise.

On a positive note, I began a new, intense workout regimen that has greatly increased my strength and flexibility.  I love it.  I’m still doing it.  I’ve maintained the regimen for 5 months with only a few rare weeks off for holidays/family time.

However:

-I also decided to really focus on baking homemade treats for the holidays this year.

-I seem to have suddenly developed some pretty serious allergic reactions to spices that I use rarely, but used often this season (in my Thanksgiving dressing, in the chicken soup I made when everyone was sick, and even in our favorite takeout Indian food).  This allergic reaction would present in sudden and HUGE swelling in my face and often full body (legs, hands, feet, everything).

-To make things worse, I decided to consult my doctor about trying a new birth control pill…  and that caused immediate and HUGE water retention (weight gain?) along with changes to my hair, skin, and even a few panic attacks! (something new to me!

So.  My “weight” has fluctuated like crazy.  I mean like an actual crazy person.  My body must be exhausted from all of the stress I have unintentionally put it through the past few months.  And this brings me back around to this cleanse.  I am all the more grateful for this annual promise to myself because of the wretched, confused, totally freaking out state that my body is in right now.  And I do mean RIGHT NOW.  My scale has always been able to swing 4 or 5 lbs in a day, with a record as high as 8 lbs once around “that time of the month” but holy jesus my scale is up a full 10 lbs from 3 months ago.  And it feels terrible.

Now, yes, I am boatloads stronger than I was 3 months ago.  So there’s a little bit of muscle, but not 10 lbs!  Not even 5 lbs!  Not possible!  Now, I sit here on the verge of a week where my body may very well shed 5 lbs of water weight… plus I’m beginning my cleanse…  but I’m taking this day to document the holy-fucking-crap-what-the-hell of this time in my health-life.

Birth Control Can Fuck You Up

Side note about the birth control pill…

I’ve been on the same pill for 15 years.  I was appropriately afraid to change birth control, as we all know it’s hormones and that shit can fuck you up. But, I had basically always been on the same one…  there had been a consistent change in my cycle such that it seemed worth considering a new pill… even though I’m headed into the holidays and baking cookies and concerned about gaining weight…  yadda yadda…  I research online and it turns out most doctors say that weight gain caused by the pill is in your head, or coincidental, and severe reactions are rare.  So.  I do it.  I talk to my doctor.  I make sure it has the same type of hormones, even roughly the same quantities,  just more evenly spread out (doctor’s suggestion).  And, in the first two weeks of the new pill I gained 7 lbs.  my skin broke out.  My hair started looking generally “crappy” in a way that I couldn’t fix.  Fortunately, I didn’t have any emotional side effects… yet.  (Aside from WTF is happening to me?!?!?!?!?)

I responded with a clean diet, kept up with my workouts, ass tons of water, no late night meals.  Just making sure I wasn’t giving my body any fuel for gaining weight, that any weight gain had to be the pill.   Toward the end of the second month,  the symptoms subsided.  Those 5 lbs went away too.  I was feeling pretty good.  Until I picked up my 3rd month of pills.  I didn’t look at the package until I got home.  It was the wrong pill!  I call the pharmacist.  He explains that it’s a generic of the pill I had been taking for the past two months, but not to worry because ” it’s the same thing.”  I explain kindly that this was a new pill, and that you can’t fuck around with birth control pill changes, and can I please have same one from the past two months?  He say it’ll take 3 days to order it.  I research online.  It is the same type of hormone, in the same ratio, and either way I’m fucked because waiting three days to start the new pack isn’t good.  (If this ever happens again, I’ll call every pharmacy in the city to find the right pill in stock.)  So.  Against my better judgment, I take this generic pill.  It’s supposed to be the same.  Well, it’s fucking not.   Immediately, the 5 lbs come back, my skin (almost back to normal) gets way worse, hair is horrible again, and now in the evenings I start having heart racing panic attack episodes with inexplicable crying.   This.  Is not even CLOSE to something I’ve ever experienced.  All of this happens within 4 days on this generic pill.

I finally go on the internet find and compare the inactive ingredients in the pills (kicking myself for not doing this before) and, not only are the inactive ingredients completely different, but the generic pill lists Talc as an ingredient.  I am severely allergic to Talc on my skin, so I can only imagine what it does to my insides. I also notice that one of the hormones is different…  like a different synthetic chemical that is supposed to yield the same effect. (?)  …  (This is all bad news.)  SO, I call the pharmacy, explain, get a new pack of the new pill that I had been taking for the previous two months, throw out the generic, resume with the non-generic, new pill.   The panic attacks subside.  But, everything else is just lingering in weirdness and low-level allergic responses for the next two weeks…  So FUCK.

 

That’s where I am right now.  Right in the middle of “I don’t know what my body needs; all I can give it is time.”

And I’ll start with this cleanse.  This cleanse is restful.  And hopefully it will help flush out whatever remains of the generic pill, and hopefully  in another month or two I might settle in to this new pill, the way I thought I was a month ago.

It might seem like a good time to get off the pill, but that could be equally as jarring with equally distressing results. #hormones

So.  A new cleanse.  A new year.  A new (fucking) pill.  And hopefully, with patience, I’ll recover and focus on GAINS in 2017.  My eye is on a prize for May 17th… but let’s get out of the medication-hormone woods first.

© Laura Beth Love and Tough Love Fit Blog, 2008 – Present. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Laura Beth Love and Tough Love Fit Blog, as appropriate, with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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